


Woe Is Me

by Just_a_big_bitch



Series: Woe is me [1]
Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Connor Deserves Happiness, Connor bowers becomes a loser, Dead Parents, Derry (Stephen King), Derry (Stephen King) is Terrible, Fix-It of Sorts, Homophobia, Homophobic Derry (Stephen King), Hurt No Comfort, Internalized Homophobia, POV Connor, POV Connor Bowers, POV First Person, Period-Typical Homophobia
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-26
Updated: 2021-02-09
Packaged: 2021-03-10 21:48:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,455
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28334133
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Just_a_big_bitch/pseuds/Just_a_big_bitch
Summary: My parents are dead.Police cars ring down the street. A gust of wind hits me as one, as well as an ambulance flies by. For at least a second, it feels like the world has stopped. Like, if I tried hard enough maybe, just maybe time wouldn’t move, and I could stand here on my bike forever. If maybe I just tried hard enough, I wouldn’t have to walk into that fucking house. Alas, it doesn’t work, and time goes by whether I like it or not.orWe get to learn more about Connor Bower's past and give him the arc he deserves.
Relationships: Connor Bowers/Richie Tozier
Series: Woe is me [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2074989
Kudos: 7





	1. May 1989

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! this is a project I've been working on since July, and I absolutely can't wait to share! Also, this is only like my 2nd work, so please go easy on me, I'm still learning. :)

My parents are dead.

Police cars ring down the street. A gust of wind hits me as one, as well as an ambulance flies by. For at least a second, it feels like the world has stopped. Like, if I tried hard enough maybe, just maybe time wouldn’t move, and I could stand here on my bike forever. If maybe I just tried hard enough, I wouldn’t have to walk into that fucking house. Alas, it doesn’t work, and time goes by whether I like it or not. 

________

I'm 14, I'm an only child, I grew up in suburban Texas America. Where the rivers are filled with sweet tea, and heroes die, or some shit. 

If you couldn't tell by now I’ve never really had a lot of friends. Not by choice, trust me! Though I don't talk to anyone, so at least it makes some sort of sense. I just stay in my town's arcade. I mostly stay by myself but, fuck man sometimes a guy I’ll walk in and I just have to talk to him. Whether I like his hair or think his shirt looks sick I just need to talk to him. It's some pull, I’ve never been able to fully explain, just kinda happens. That's the only way I’ve ever been able to talk to anyone without sounding like a lunatic. 

You know I was fine with this. I was perfectly okay with my little world. But life never works out like that huh? Always gotta find some way to fuck it all up. 

Today I'm being taken to a child service officer, or whatever you call it, to find out what's going to happen to me. Currently, my best option is getting adopted by some old rich couple, but considering how the most recent part of my life is going, I wouldn’t count on it. 

I walk into a small bland room, that honestly feels more like a jail cell than an office for "changing kids' lives." The walls are painted with a muted grey color ( only more proving my point), with a wide black desk sitting in the middle of the room, and there seems to be a degree, or something hung up on the back wall. Suddenly a lady with a short brown bob, and heels walks into the room behind me, file in hand. 

I can already feel how bad this is going to end up.

I shove my hands into my lucky green jacket, which as of late doesn't seem to live up to its title and take a seat at the soft chair in front of the desk.

She clears her throat and creepily locks eyes with me.

“Connor, how lovely to see you,” she says with a faint smile across her face. “ First off, I'm so sorry for your loss, how have you been holding up?”

I shrug in response because I mean how was I supposed to respond? ‘Ah yes stranger, I'm currently going through a fucking breakdown because I just lost the only people who gave a shit about me. How ‘bout you?’

Ignoring my flat response, she grabs one of her papers, now spread out on her desk, and starts. “Your parents Will states.” she clears her throat again “ In case any harm may fall upon us we, Jane Bowers, and Gary Bowers, wish that the Guardian of our son, Connor Bowers, to be passed onto the boys' uncle, Butch Bowers.”

I nod.

“Right, well we’ve contacted them and they said they’d gladly take you in. Now, I'm going to need to ask you a few more questions-”


	2. June 1989

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connor Bowers is gets to meet his cousin for the first time at his new home. Who isn't so bad?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahh, the first chapter of the New year... which isn't that surprising, but don't take this away from me! Hope you enjoy Chapter 2 and I can't wait to finally get into the meat of this Fic!

The next few weeks blow by in a flurry of stress and fear.

Though I’ve never actually met my Uncle Butch, I’ve heard stories, most of which coming from my dad. About how he drove out his wife, or how my cousin Henry once beat a kid so hard he landed in the hospital for weeks. Though my dad i̶s̶ was the type to overexaggerate, epically for people he didn't like. So I don't know how much I Believe it. 

The black car that picked me up from the airport finally makes its way to a large farmhouse, where another car already sits in the driveway. Despite the cozy feel of the house, it was still eerie. Like one wrong move and it could eat me whole. There were still cracks in the wood banisters, and on the white stares leading up to the house. 

“Shit.” I quietly breathe out.

Of course, I’d get stuck with some hillbilly-rednecks. I was hoping maybe he’d be at least a rich drunk, but nooooo, we have to make Connor’s life even more insufferable!

I grab my small suitcase from the back of the car, and carefully walk up to the house glaring back at me, with Miss, So-and-so Social worker a few steps ahead.

She knocks on the door a few times and proceeds to wipe her hand on her skirt. Great, always a good sign. Instead of the sheriff answering the door, it's some mullet-wearing blondie instead.

“Hello.” He says pretending (and failing) not to be annoyed.

“ Hi there. My name is ḥ̴̩͖͙͚̈́́͒̕͝f̴̛̪̪͖̍̍͒̆̾̋͜s̵̛̛̙̝̞̻̘͖̐̄͠ḵ̵̜̙̟̝̩̪͈̉̃̎̏̊͐̚d̸̨̢̞͓̗̪̩̭̼̈́̈́̕f̴͓̬̰̥̺̪̰͋̇̈́͆̽̎̋͋͝ͅz̷̨̦̼͚̖̠̺̑͂̄͆̀͌̃̅͘s̸̛͙̥̟̀̅̈́̚͝͝’, is Butch Bowers home?” She states with a false smile.

“One sec, Dad! It's for you!”

Another very tall man walks into the doorframe, just as the other walked out, beer in hand.

“What is it?” He says Begrudgingly. 

“Well,” Miss social worker said in a huff. “I’m here to see Connor off, and for you to sign some extra paperwork. If you don't mind.”

Butch arched his eyebrow at that.

“Right.” He said fixing his posture and setting his beer down. “Let’s talk in the kitchen. Connor was it?” he asked sternly. “Drop your stuff off in your room. Down the hallway 2 to the left.”

With that I slid past him, ignoring Mulet staring at me, and made my way to the hallway. Where a few photos, mostly of people I don't know, hang up and The tannish wallpaper seems to be peeling off. After not much searching, I finally find ‘my room’

It’s a grey cramped room, with a twin bed in the corner and a small desk and lamp beside it. I drop my suitcase down as soon as I enter, and flop belly side up onto the bed. I don't even care how gross this room is, after these last few weeks all I want to do is sleep.

But like everything else so far, that doesn’t work out for me.

“Aye loser, get up!”

I open my eyes and sit my head up just enough that I can see the same mullet-wearing asshole standing in the doorway. I almost say something along the lines of ‘Fuck off im trying to sleep.’ but quickly realize by his overtly intimidating demeanor, that that'd be a mistake. Instead, I just stay quiet and stare nonchalantly in his direction.

“So uh.” Mulet studders. “What nerd shit you bring anyway?”

He leans into the room and harshly grabs my suitcase, opening it as he does so. 

“Essentials,” I say, honestly a little confused. Like who the hell does this guy think he is? Riffling threw my shit, I mean it's not like I had anything important in there, just clothes, hairbrush, toothbrush, my comics- Shit, my comics! What if he finds them!

Though thankfully he didn’t, instead he pulls out my small switch-knife.

“Nice blade.” He says letting go of the suitcase entirely, letting its contents spill onto the floor.

“Ya, my dad got it for me a few years back,” I say finally pulling myself into a sitting position.

“Oh, uh sorry man.” Now moving into the room, he sets the knife on the desk.

Wait- did he just apologize? Well, maybe my old man was wrong about this guy. He doesn’t seem terrible. He's almost cool, in a way?

So I decided to take a risk.

“I don't think I ever caught your name?” I say with my signator smile.

“Henry.” He says putting his tough exterior back on.

I put out my hand for him to shake. 

“Nice to meet you, Henry,”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like I have to let ya'll know, this isn't going to a "Henry Bowers is a good person fic." I just wanted to show that he has the ability to be a decent human being, but isn't. So don't worry, He's still an asshole!


	3. June 1989 Pt2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TW: Intense Homophobia, Connor feels like he's finally part of the Bowers Gang, but after a run-in with a friend in the arcade that went way too far, he's not so sure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Intense homophobia
> 
> Woo, sorry I've been gone for a bit, school started up again and I've been insanely stressed, But I'm back, and I'm ready! 
> 
> Also! I have a Spotify playlist for this fic! Hope you enjoy listening! 
> 
> https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2lrF0GbVpZJm6TSGva9u3i?si=8OIiJlU4ShCOl2F98sGHww&utm_source=copy-link

I almost instantly joined the Bowers Gang. It was nice to be a part of something, a friend group. Something I have honestly never been a part of before. Though yes, me being a freshman and 14, put everyone off at first, they mostly got over it and softened up. Again mostly.

While the gang does some basic heckling; scaring young kids, making fun of nerds at the arcade, Ect, I’ve never really joined. I prefer to just sit and watch. Not only ‘cuz it makes for great entertainment, but because it makes me uncomfortable. Not inna nark kinda way, I just don't like it. 

(Author's Note: I do not in any way condone heckling or bullying. However, this is the 80’s and it was a very different time. So all and all, be kind to others.)

So far the only part of this shitty town worth a damn is the arcade. It’s small, but considering the size of my new living arrangements, I should get over it. 

Though besides all that, something fucked up is going on here. Some alleyways seem too empty, and buildings that feel like they're watching you. Not to even mention all the fucking missing kid posters around. All I know is something is very wrong here.  
\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
10:30 am

Henry and the rest of the gang drop me off at the arcade. While they plan to see some dumb movie. 

“Aw, does the little baby freshman need to be dropped off at daycare?” Belch Mocked

“Shut it Lardass” I snapped.

“Alright.” breathed Henry “We’ll be back at one, be done before then.”

He put a finger in my face as if to emphasize the urgency.

“Whatever.”

With that, the gang m̶i̶n̶a̶u̶s̶e̶ ̶o̶n̶e̶ left the entrance of the arcade.

I push the door open and breathe in the sweet smell of conditioned air. Being a Saturday, the arcade had more people than usual with a few faces I’ve never seen. I walk in, put a 10 into the token machine, and see him. 

Richie. Never talked to him, but ‘heard he was super good at Street Fighter. My specialty.

‘Time to show the dweeb who’s better.’

I calmly walk over to a few other games to not seem too desperate to talk to him. And after a few hours of us seemingly dancing around the arcade, I finally walk up to the game, and he joins.

“Richie, right?” I asked pretending not to already know. 

“Yup!” ‘oh shit.’ he breaths just under his breath. “Uh sorry, yeah. And you're Connor?”

“Guess so.”

“Wait so are you or- nevermind, just let's just get started,” He fiddled with his hands before forcefully putting them into his jean pocket. Then he pulled out a sliver game token.

“Whatever you say.”

This is who I pick, seriously?

B̶u̶t̶ ̶i̶t̶ ̶w̶a̶s̶ ̶k̶i̶n̶d̶a̶ ̶c̶u̶t̶e̶

We finish up a few rounds when suddenly he gets very frustrated, like uncharacteristically so. 

“You good man?” I ask just as I win a game.

“Yeah I’m fine, my friend just pissed me off the other day.” He gazes down at his hands as the GAME OVER screen starts playing.

“You have friends?” I unknowingly say. “Shit! I-uh didn’t mean it like that.”

That gets a small chuckle out of him. Good, I didn't completely fuck this up. 

“Well, I mean at least I did.” 

“What happened? Neither of us is looking at the screen anymore. He seemingly notices, his face flushes, and he looks down at his hands. 

“Ugh,” he groans, “My friend was being a dick and almost got us killed, and then he had the nerve to get upset at me for pointing it out!”

“Well, shit that sucks.” 

Before I can figure it out, he says “Yeah, it really does. Whatever let's just get back to the game”  
I want to comfort him, to say ‘Im sure it’ll be fine! Trust me!’ and smile at him. But I don’t, I cant. Instead, I put another token in the machine, and carry on. It feels different with him calming almost. But then like everything, like my family, like my health, my friends… It’s ruined.

“Come on, you come on.”

I stared intensely at the screen with little heath left to try to push through, and,

“Can you little bitch…” I die.

“Your fucking good.”

I give him a low-five, with the tips of our fingers lingering on a little more than they should.

I see a clock on the back wall and realize- shit.

12:59

“Well, I ah gotta go.” ‘come on come on’

“Hey! um,” he looks down and grabs another token. “How about we go again?” 

I look at him for a little while, even contemplating how long it would take for one more game. But I need to get outta here if I’m even a little late I just know Henry’s going to beat my ass. 

Finally, luck runs out. 

I hear a few people walking behind me and even groan from Vic. Too late.

“Only if you want to.” He says like a kicked dog. 

I dare a look behind me. Yup, it’s them.

So, I have a choice. Do I get my ass kicked for making Henry wait, or do I throw Richie under the bus?

I’m sorry Rich.

“Dude why are you being weird? I’m not your fucking boyfriend.” 

“Whoa I didn’-”

“The fucks going on here?” Henry’s voice booms over Richie’s.

I’m so fucking sorry.

“You guys didn’t tell me this town was full of little fairies.”

Richie looks like he’s going to shit himself, and Henry seems to be, Smiling?

“Richie fucking Tozier, what? You trying to bone my little cousin?”

It’s silent for a second. Everyone’s looking. For a second I think it’s finally ov-

“GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE FAGGOT!”

Then it’s silent again. Though people could be talking, I wouldn’t know. Richie on the other hand got the right fuck outta there. I stood there for a few seconds longer, staring at the door he just left. I don't know why if he was half as smart as I thought he was, he'd be long gone by now. Henry puts an arm around my shoulder and takes me around the back door. 

Without even realizing it, I'm in the back of Belches pickup. I snap out of my daze and try to do damage control.

” Sorry for making you wait.”

“It’s fine.”

“No seriously, I tried-”

“I said it’s fine, now shut the fuck up about it.”

The rest of the car ride was silent.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's a quick reminder to just be respectful towards others. ALSO, DRINK SOME FUCKING WATER FOR GOD'S SAKE!
> 
> Have a nice day, and thanks for reading!
> 
> Edit: That moment when you realized you spoiled your own fic with the music playlist..... (no I'm not changing it >:|)

**Author's Note:**

> Once more, this is something I've been so excited to do, and now that I'm on winter break I can finally start posting something! ( However bitches be depressed and have Rona, so I might not do much more very soon. But! I will try! lol)


End file.
